The hardest part of Depression is not the low mood or exhaustion; it’s that the illness itself convinces you that nothing will help — including ‘help’. Every step takes more effort than it should, and even small actions feel disproportionately hard.
Why does depression make it so hard to seek help?
Seeking help can make you feel particularly vulnerable, especially in Singapore. While mental health awareness has improved, it was not long ago that it was considered a taboo topic. Many people grew up in environments where emotional struggles were not openly discussed and were often misunderstood or dismissed.
As a result, struggling with depression can feel shameful. You might feel like you “should” be able to cope on your own, that depression will naturally go away, or worry about how others might perceive you if you seek help.
Over time, this can lead to avoidance. Not because you do not want help, but because reaching out feels scary.
What is therapy actually like?
One of the most common misconceptions is that therapy is simply ‘talking about your feelings’.
However in reality, your therapist is actively:
- Identifying patterns in your thoughts and behaviours
- Understanding what may be maintaining your depression
- Understanding what keeps you stuck and how to move forward
What is the process of therapy?
Therapy is a collaborative and structured process, not just a conversation.
In the first session, the focus is on understanding you — what you have been experiencing, how it is affecting your daily life, and what you hope might change. You might not know what to say. You might feel awkward at first, and that is completely normal.
Subsequent sessions build on this. You and your therapist start to notice patterns, explore what might be contributing to how you feel, and gradually try out small changes in how you think, respond, or cope.
Here at Us Therapy, our therapists draw on evidence-based approaches such as Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT), and other integrative methods depending on what we believe will be most effective for you.
How does therapy help with depression over time?
Depression often follows a pattern that reinforces itself over time.
A low mood can make everyday tasks feel harder. You might start to withdraw, cancel plans, or avoid things that usually matter to you.
That withdrawal can bring a sense of relief at first, but over time it often leads to more isolation, more negative thoughts, and sometimes guilt. This can deepen the low mood, making it even harder to re-engage.
In therapy, you learn to:
- Notice these patterns
- Question unhelpful thoughts
- Take small steps to interrupt the cycle
Different approaches in therapy support this process in slightly different ways. Some focus on identifying and reframing unhelpful thoughts, such as CBT. Others help you relate differently to difficult emotions, rather than trying to get rid of them, as used in ACT.
Some approaches place more emphasis on action — helping you gradually re-engage with daily activities, even before motivation returns.
Over time, many people find that depressive patterns become less intense, are better able to manage their mood, respond to difficult thoughts with more awareness, and gradually reconnect with daily routines and relationships.
How long does it take therapy to ‘work’?
Often people say that therapy takes too long, or that it only offers short-term relief.
What often goes unsaid is that therapy is not confined to the one hour you spend in the room. The remaining 167 hours of your week are where the real work happens and where progress is made.
As such, the timeline of therapy is not fixed. Some people notice small shifts within a few sessions, while others take longer, especially if the depression has been more persistent or severe.
It can help to think of therapy as a marathon rather than a sprint. Small shifts in how you think, respond, or act can accumulate over time and begin to ease the overall weight of depression.
In some cases, medication may also be part of the treatment plan, especially for moderate to severe depression. We work closely with a variety of GPs/ family physicians who can assist with prescriptions. When used together, therapy and medication can complement each other — helping to stabilise mood while also addressing underlying patterns.
Do you really need therapy if you have depression?
Depression does not always go away on its own.
When left untreated, it can:
- Deepen patterns of withdrawal and avoidance
- Reinforce negative thinking over time
- Affect relationships, work, and daily functioning
- Make it harder to seek help later on
Sometimes you may wonder whether what you are experiencing is ‘serious enough’ to seek help, or whether you should be able to cope on your own.
If life has been feeling harder than it should for a while, that is reason enough to reach out. You do not need a formal diagnosis to seek help and support does not need to be reserved for crisis situations. In many cases, seeking help earlier can prevent symptoms from becoming more overwhelming over time.
If you are unsure whether what you are experiencing is depression or something else, you can read more about the signs of stress, burnout, and depression.
What if you’re still unsure about therapy?
You might still be wondering:
- What if I do not know where to start?
- What if therapy does not work?
- What if I am not ready?
It is completely normal to feel unsure.
At Us Therapy, we aim to create a space that is approachable and supportive — whether you are new to therapy or returning after some time.
If you are exploring therapy for the first time, working with our counsellors-in-training can also be a more accessible starting point. These sessions are supervised and designed to provide support in a safe, structured way.
You do not need to have everything figured out before starting.
If you have been thinking about therapy, you do not need to be completely certain that it will work. You only need to be open to taking the first step.
If you would like to explore whether therapy might be a good fit for you, you can reach out to the team at Us Therapy.
—
Benson Chua, Counsellor-in-Training
Benson graduated with a Professional Diploma in Psychotherapy and works in mental health and social services. He holds a Bachelor’s in International Business and previously worked in audit and risk advisory, understanding sustained stress and performance demands.