Separation Anxiety
Anxiety can take many forms, and one common challenge for families is separation anxiety. Often thought of as a natural developmental stage, but when it becomes overwhelming and impacts a child’s daily life, it is important to understand this condition and how to support them.
What Is Separation Anxiety Disorder?
Accounting for around 50% of the referrals for mental health treatment of anxiety disorders, Separation Anxiety Disorder (SAD) is more than just feeling a little nervous when a parent leaves. It is an intense, overwhelming fear or anxiety in children about being separated from home or from the people they are most attached to, typically parents or primary caregivers. This level of distress is significant enough to genuinely impact a child’s daily life and schooling.
At its heart, SAD involves a deep-seated worry that something bad will happen to a loved one, or to the child themselves, when they are apart.
Separation Anxiety Disorder In Children
In children, SAD often shows up in very clear ways that parents can observe. You might notice severe tantrums, excessive crying, or deep distress when you try to leave.
Children with SAD may strongly refuse to go to school, kindergarten, or daycare, cling excessively, or even complain of physical symptoms like stomach aches or headaches right before a separation.
They might frequently express fears about parents getting hurt or a strong fear of being left alone at home. Troubled sleep, including nightmares about separation themes and difficulty sleeping alone without a parent nearby, is also a common sign.
Causes Of Separation Anxiety Disorder
The reasons why a child develops SAD are usually a mix of factors. There can be a genetic component, meaning a family history of anxiety might increase susceptibility.
Life events can also play a role, such as a significant loss, a major move, a change in school, or even an overprotective parenting style where a child hasn’t had many opportunities to practice being apart.
When To Seek Help?
If your child is incredibly distressed, cannot be calmed down, and that distress is happening each and every drop off, and it is happening for a week or two, at that point it is very appropriate to reach out and to get some extra support.
How Can Us Help You?
Experienced Therapists
Our processes and quality assurance is led by Dr.Emma Waddington, a UK-trained senior clinician psychologist and Founder of Us Therapy, with over 20+ years of experience in helping individuals in Singapore.
Holistic & Personalised Approach
Our clinicians draw from various therapeutic models to create a holistic approach. At Us, we have seen hundreds of clients and we recognise that each individual is unique. Our approach is tailored to you but always includes customised treatment plans and integrative techniques.
Thorough Assessment
At Us, we pride ourselves on our comprehensive assessment processes. We will undergo a thorough assessment process with you in your first sessions before we come up with a plan for your therapy.
Our Therapists
Therapy Approaches
With the right support, children experiencing Separation Anxiety Disorder can experience significant relief and develop healthy coping skills.
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT)
CBT is widely considered the most effective approach for children. CBT gently guides children to identify and challenge the anxious thoughts and beliefs that fuel their fear of separation.
Exposure Therapy
A key part of CBT, Exposure Therapy involves gradually and safely introducing situations that involve separation, helping the child build confidence and reduce their anxiety in a controlled manner.
Family Therapy
Family Therapy is often highly beneficial, as it involves parents in supporting coping strategies and adjusting family dynamics to best help the child.
In some more severe cases, medication might be considered as a supportive tool alongside therapy, always in consultation with medical professionals.
Living With Separation Anxiety
While living with separation anxiety can feel overwhelming for both children and parents, true recovery and a more fulfilling family life are absolutely within reach.
Beyond therapy, practical steps at home can make a big difference. For parents, establishing predictable routines, practising consistent goodbyes that are firm but warm, and gently encouraging independent play and age-appropriate time apart can be incredibly helpful.
Practising mindfulness together, developing shared coping skills, and slowly and gently increasing exposure to independent situations are all valuable tools.
Seeking professional support can provide the guidance and tools needed to navigate this journey successfully and help your child build resilience for the future.
What To Expect
Initial Consultation – A Space to Be Heard
The first session is all about getting to know you. It is a conversation—one where you can share what is been on your mind, what has been feeling difficult, and what you would like support with. Your therapist will ask questions about your background, experiences, and goals, but there is no pressure to answer any questions—just a safe space to begin.
Questionnaires & Onboarding Surveys – Understanding the Full Picture
To help tailor therapy to your needs, you may be asked to fill out some brief questionnaires before or after your first session. These can give insight into things like mood, stress levels, relationship patterns, or coping strategies. They are not tests—just tools to help your therapist understand how best to support you.
Individual Therapy Sessions – Your Journey at Your Own Pace
Each session is a step forward in your journey. Therapy is not just about talking—it is about discovering new ways to navigate life’s challenges, make sense of emotions, and feel like you are getting the most out of your life. Depending on your needs, sessions may focus on:
- Exploring patterns of thought and behavior
- Understanding past experiences and their impact on the present
- Developing practical coping tools
- Strengthening emotional resilience
Feedback Sessions – Reflecting and Adjusting
After the first few sessions (or after assessments), a feedback session provides space to reflect on how therapy is going. This is a chance to talk about what has been helpful, what you would like more of, and how therapy can continue to best serve you.
Intervention – The Heart of Therapy
Intervention is where meaningful change happens. Every therapy journey is unique, and the approach will be shaped around what works best for you. Some common approaches include:
🌱 Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) – Helping to identify and shift unhelpful thought patterns, reduce anxiety, and develop healthier ways to cope and new patterns of behaviour.
🧠 Schema Therapy – Deep, transformational work to uncover long-standing patterns that might be keeping you stuck, often rooted in early life experiences.
💙 Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) – Learning to handle difficult emotions with self-compassion and move towards what truly matters in life.
🌊 Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) – A powerful approach for healing trauma and distressing memories, helping the brain reprocess them in a way that feels less overwhelming.
🧘 Mindfulness-Based Approaches – Building self-awareness, grounding techniques, and ways to manage stress and emotions with greater ease.
Fees
Individual Counselling Rates
Clinician type
Fees and Duration
Clinic Founder
$310
Principal Psychologist
$290
Senior Clinical Psychologist
$262
Educational Psychologist
$262
Clinical Psychologist
$236
Counsellor
$170
Expressive Arts Therapist
$170
Associate Psychologist
$130
Phone calls / Emails
Clinicians rate pro-rata (10 Mins)
FAQs
How to calm down separation anxiety?
To calm separation anxiety, establish consistent routines, practice gradual and supportive exposure to separation, and teach coping skills like deep breathing or engaging in comforting activities.
What does separation anxiety feel like?
Separation anxiety feels like an intense, overwhelming fear or dread at the thought or experience of being apart from a primary attachment figure (parent, primary caregiver), often accompanied by physical symptoms like a racing heart and an urgent need to avoid separation.
What is the 3-3-3 rule for anxiety?
The 3-3-3 rule is a grounding technique where one identifies three things they can see, three sounds they can hear, and moves three body parts, to redirect focus from anxious thoughts to the present moment.
How do you treat separation anxiety disorder in adults?
Treating Separation Anxiety Disorder in adults primarily involves Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), including exposure therapy, to challenge anxious thoughts and gradually build tolerance to separation, sometimes supplemented with medication.