Bereavement
What Is Bereavement?
Bereavement refers to the period of mourning and emotional adjustment that follows the death of a loved one.
You might find yourself feeling intense sorrow, anger, guilt, numbness or confusion. You may replay your last conversation with them over and over, or struggle with what the future looks like without them.
It is the process of coming to terms with the absence of someone who mattered deeply, whether that person was a partner, parent, child, sibling, friend, or even a beloved pet.
Following a bereavement, it is natural to have a mix of feelings. These can also be complicated by how things were left and expectations about the future. It is natural to have a period of low mood, tearfulness, anger and a host of other complex feelings. This is the body and mind’s normal way of coming to terms with the change. All of this is part of the bereavement experience.
Some people expect grief to look like constant crying or emotional breakdowns, but in reality, it varies widely. Some people feel overwhelmed, others feel flat or emotionally shut down. Some carry on with their routines while feeling a quiet heaviness beneath the surface. It includes not just sadness, but a complex mix of emotional, physical, cognitive and social responses. There is no single “correct” way to grieve.
Everybody grieves differently; some people talk about stages of grief, but not everyone necessarily processes through these in order. So, it can be easier to think about the tasks of grief being:
- To truly acknowledge and accept the loss
- Experience the pain of this loss
- Adjust to a new life, perhaps bringing into it a memory or a ritual to commemorate the lost person
- Re-invest in your life
Importantly, bereavement is not a sign of weakness or failure to cope; it is a natural human response to the loss of connection. It reflects love, attachment and the significance of that person in your life.
If the sense of grief continues longer than a year for adults or six months for children, then this might be prolonged grief disorder and could be worth discussing with a therapist.
Common Reactions To Loss
Emotional Reactions | Cognitive Reactions | Physical Reactions | Behavioural and Social Reactions |
|---|---|---|---|
Sadness, tearfulness or deep sorrow | Difficulty concentrating or remembering things | Fatigue or exhaustion | Withdrawal from friends or family |
Anger, irritability, or frustration (sometimes directed at the deceased or oneself) | Constant thoughts about the deceased or the circumstances of their death | Sleep disturbances (insomnia or oversleeping) | Avoiding reminders of the loss |
Guilt or self-blame | Questioning the meaning of life or one’s identity | Changes in appetite (eating more or less) | Increased dependence on routines or rituals |
Shock or disbelief, especially after a sudden loss | Intrusive memories or “what if” scenarios | Physical aches, tension, or heaviness | Difficulty returning to work, school, or daily responsibilities |
Numbness or emotional detachment | Weakened immune response or frequent illness | ||
Longing and yearning |
Types of Bereavement
Not all grief looks the same, because not all losses are the same. The nature of your relationship with the person, how they passed away, and your personal circumstances can all shape how you experience bereavement.
Here are some common types of bereavement, each with its unique emotional landscape:
1. Sudden or Traumatic Loss
This includes unexpected deaths from accidents, suicide, homicide, or medical emergencies. These losses often leave loved ones in shock, struggling to make sense of what happened. The lack of time to prepare can intensify feelings of disbelief, helplessness or guilt.
2. Anticipated Loss
Sometimes we have time to prepare for a loss, such as when a loved one has a terminal illness. While this allows space for goodbyes, it does not always soften the pain. Anticipatory grief, grieving before the person has passed, can be an emotionally draining and complicated mix of hope, dread and sorrow.
3. Loss of a Child
Losing a child, at any age, is often described as one of the most painful and disorienting forms of grief. It may challenge a parent’s sense of identity, purpose and order in the world. Grief in this case may last for years, with moments of intensity returning during birthdays, holidays or milestones.
4. Loss of a Partner or Spouse
This can bring profound feelings of loneliness, loss of shared identity, and uncertainty about the future. In addition to grieving the person, many also grieve the daily routines, shared plans, and emotional intimacy they had together.
5. Complicated or Conflicted Relationships
If the relationship with the deceased was difficult, estranged or unresolved, grief can be especially complex. You may feel a mix of sadness, relief, regret or even anger. Therapy can be particularly helpful in working through these layered emotions.
6. Cumulative Grief
When several losses happen in a short period of time, such as losing multiple loved ones, a job, or a home, it can feel like grief is compounding. Your emotional resources may become overwhelmed, and it may be hard to even know where to begin healing.
7. Non-death Losses
Grief does not only occur after death. You may grieve after a breakup, divorce, estrangement, miscarriage, infertility, or the diagnosis of a chronic illness. Even the loss of future hopes or imagined possibilities can cause deep emotional pain.
Whatever your experience, your grief is valid. What matters most is how the loss has affected you and how you are supported through it.
What Influences How We Grieve?
Grief is not one-size-fits-all. Two people can experience the same loss, even the same person, and grieve in completely different ways. This is because grief is shaped by a combination of personal, relational, cultural and situational factors.
1. Your relationship with the deceased
The closeness of the bond, the role that person played in your life, and whether the relationship was loving, complicated, or estranged can all affect how grief unfolds. Losing a parent, child, spouse, or best friend often hits differently than losing a distant relative or acquaintance, but all forms of loss are valid.
2. The circumstances of the death
Sudden or traumatic deaths, such as accidents, suicide or violence, may result in more intense or prolonged shock and confusion. In contrast, anticipated losses, such as after a long illness, may involve anticipatory grief and a different emotional trajectory. Unanswered questions or a lack of closure can also complicate the process.
3. Personal coping style and mental health
People grieve based on how they have learned to cope with stress, loss or big emotions. If you have a history of anxiety, depression or trauma, grief may feel heavier and harder to process. Conversely, someone with a strong internal coping toolkit or previous experience with loss may feel more emotionally equipped.
4. Cultural and spiritual beliefs
Your cultural background and spiritual or religious beliefs can shape how you understand and express grief. Some traditions emphasise communal mourning, ritual or prayer, while others encourage quiet, internal reflection. Beliefs about the afterlife, legacy or fate can also influence how people find meaning after loss.
5. Support system
Feeling connected, heard and supported can make a huge difference in how we move through grief. People with caring, understanding friends or family often feel less alone in their grief, while those who feel isolated or misunderstood may find the process more difficult. In some cases, support from a therapist or support group can fill that gap.
6. Life circumstances and responsibilities
Grieving while juggling parenting, work, school or financial pressures can add another layer of stress. Some people may feel they “don’t have time to grieve”, which can lead to delayed to suppressed emotions that resurface later.
7. Previous losses or trauma
Grief can sometimes stir up unresolved pain from earlier losses, especially if they were never fully processed. This can intensify the emotional weight or create a sense of “grief overload”.
Everyone’s grief is unique, and there is no right or wrong way to feel. Understanding what might be influencing your grief can be a first step toward navigating it with more compassion for yourself.
How Can Therapy Help?
Grief can be confusing, overwhelming and isolating, especially when you are expected to “move on” while still trying to make sense of what has happened. Therapy provides a supportive space where you can pause, reflect and express your grief without pressure, judgement or expectations.
Talking to a trained therapist can help you:
1. Make sense of the loss
Grief often comes with a swirl of “why” questions, especially after a sudden or traumatic death. Therapy gives you space to explore these questions safely, even the ones you are afraid to say out loud. It can also help you process unresolved feelings or things left unsaid.
2. Express and validate your emotions
Many people feel pressure to be “strong” for others or to keep it all together. But grief does not work that way. In therapy, you can openly express emotions like sadness, anger, guilt, relief or even numbness, all of which are normal. A therapist helps validate your experience so you do not have to carry it alone.
3. Navigate the “tasks of grief”
Rather than following neat stages, grief tends to unfold as a series of emotional tasks. These include:
- Acknowledging the reality of the loss
- Feeling the emotional pain of the loss
- Adjusting to life without the person
- Reinvesting in life and relationships moving forward
A therapist can help you gently move through these tasks at your own pace, offering tools and strategies for coping along the way.
4. Rebuild a life that feels meaningful
Grief changes a person, and it often changes how one sees the world, their identity and their future. Therapy can help you rebuild a sense of stability and purpose, while honouring the memory of your loved one. This may involve exploring new routines, creating rituals, or discovering meaningful ways to stay connected to the person you have lost.
5. Support your mental health
Grief can sometimes trigger or intensify anxiety, depression, trauma responses, or even physical symptoms like fatigue and insomnia. A therapist can work with you to manage these challenges and monitor signs of Prolonged Grief Disorder, which may require more structured support.
6. Offer a safe, confidential space
Sometimes, the people around us, even those who mean well, may not know how to respond to grief. Therapy provides a private space where your experience takes centre stage and your story can be told as many times as you need to tell it.
Grief is not something to “get over”; it is something to be supported through. Therapy can walk alongside you as you move toward healing, one step at a time.
When To Seek Help?
Grief is a natural response to loss — and for many people, it softens with time, support, and self-care. But sometimes, the weight of grief becomes too heavy to carry alone. Therapy can offer a safe and supportive space to help you navigate that burden and begin the process of healing.
You do not need to wait until things feel unbearable to seek help. Therapy can be a valuable source of support at any stage of the grieving process — whether you are in the early days of loss or struggling with long-standing pain.
Here are some signs that it might be time to reach out for support:
- Persistent emotional pain that is not easing over time
- Difficulty functioning at work, school, or in daily life
- Intense guilt, anger, or hopelessness that feels overwhelming
- Avoidance of reminders of the person or the loss
- Feelings of isolation or being unsupported
- Complicated or traumatic grief (e.g., following a sudden, violent, or multiple losses)
- Symptoms of depression or anxiety that interfere with your well-being
- Signs of Prolonged Grief Disorder — where grief remains intense and disruptive more than a year after the loss (or 6 months for children)
Even if your grief does not “tick all the boxes,” therapy can still be a safe space to explore, express, and find support. You do not have to justify your pain to seek help.
How Can Us Help You?
Experienced Therapists
Our processes and quality assurance is led by Dr.Emma Waddington, a UK-trained senior clinician psychologist and Founder of Us Therapy, with over 20+ years of experience in helping individuals in Singapore.
Holistic & Personalised Approach
Our clinicians draw from various therapeutic models to create a holistic approach. At Us, we have seen hundreds of clients and we recognise that each individual is unique. Our approach is tailored to you but always includes customised treatment plans and integrative techniques.
Thorough Assessment
At Us, we pride ourselves on our comprehensive assessment processes. We will undergo a thorough assessment process with you in your first sessions before we come up with a plan for your therapy.
Our Therapists
Therapy Approaches
Grief Counselling
This approach focuses on creating space for you to feel, speak and explore your emotions without judgment. A grief counsellor can:
- Help you process memories and regrets
- Support you through the tasks of grief – accepting the loss, feeling the pain, adjusting and reinvesting
- Offer coping tools for waves of emotions, anniversaries and unexpected triggers
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT)
CBT helps you work through negative thought patterns such as “I should have done more” or “I can’t live without them”. You will learn to:
- Identify and challenge unhelpful thinking
- Build healthier ways of coping
- Gently face or avoid situations or reminders of the loss
Narrative Therapy
Narrative therapy helps you reflect on and reshape the story of your grief. Together with your therapist, you may:
- Explore the meaning of your relationship with the person who died
- Create space for legacy, memory and continued connection
- Reframe your identity and life story in the wake of the loss
Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing (EMDR)
Group Therapy and Peer Support
What To Expect
Initial Consultation – A Space to Be Heard
The first session is all about getting to know you. It is a conversation—one where you can share what is been on your mind, what has been feeling difficult, and what you would like support with. Your therapist will ask questions about your background, experiences, and goals, but there is no pressure to answer any questions—just a safe space to begin.
Questionnaires & Onboarding Surveys – Understanding the Full Picture
To help tailor therapy to your needs, you may be asked to fill out some brief questionnaires before or after your first session. These can give insight into things like mood, stress levels, relationship patterns, or coping strategies. They are not tests—just tools to help your therapist understand how best to support you.
Individual Therapy Sessions – Your Journey at Your Own Pace
Each session is a step forward in your journey. Therapy is not just about talking—it is about discovering new ways to navigate life’s challenges, make sense of emotions, and feel like you are getting the most out of your life. Depending on your needs, sessions may focus on:
- Exploring patterns of thought and behavior
- Understanding past experiences and their impact on the present
- Developing practical coping tools
- Strengthening emotional resilience
Feedback Sessions – Reflecting and Adjusting
After the first few sessions (or after assessments), a feedback session provides space to reflect on how therapy is going. This is a chance to talk about what has been helpful, what you would like more of, and how therapy can continue to best serve you.
Intervention – The Heart of Therapy
Intervention is where meaningful change happens. Every therapy journey is unique, and the approach will be shaped around what works best for you. Some common approaches include:
🌱 Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) – Helping to identify and shift unhelpful thought patterns, reduce anxiety, and develop healthier ways to cope and new patterns of behaviour.
🧠 Schema Therapy – Deep, transformational work to uncover long-standing patterns that might be keeping you stuck, often rooted in early life experiences.
💙 Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) – Learning to handle difficult emotions with self-compassion and move towards what truly matters in life.
🌊 Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) – A powerful approach for healing trauma and distressing memories, helping the brain reprocess them in a way that feels less overwhelming.
🧘 Mindfulness-Based Approaches – Building self-awareness, grounding techniques, and ways to manage stress and emotions with greater ease.
Fees
Individual Counselling Rates
Clinician type
Fees and Duration
Clinic Founder
$310
Principal Psychologist
$290
Senior Clinical Psychologist
$262
Educational Psychologist
$262
Clinical Psychologist
$236
Counsellor
$170
Expressive Arts Therapist
$170
Associate Psychologist
$130
Phone calls / Emails
Clinicians rate pro-rata (10 Mins)
FAQs About Bereavement
Is bereavement normal?
How long does bereavement last?
What is Prolonged Grief Disorder?
Prolonged Grief Disorder (PGD) is a condition where intense, disruptive grief persists beyond what is typical, generally more than 12 months in adults or six months in children. Individuals with PGD may experience overwhelming longing, difficulty accepting the death, persistent emotional pain, or an inability to re-engage in life. It is not just “taking longer to heal”; it is when grief interferes significantly with daily living. Therapy can provide structured support and facilitate healing in these cases.
Why do I feel guilty?
Can I still talk to my loved one?
Can grief become unhealthy?
Yes. While grief is a natural response to loss, it can become complicated or overwhelming in some cases. Signs that grief may be becoming unhealthy include:
- Feeling stuck or emotionally numb
- Withdrawing completely from life and relationships
- Ongoing inability to function at work, school, or home
- Avoiding reminders of the person or obsessively reliving their death
- Feeling life is no longer worth living
If you are struggling in these ways, speak with us. You do not have to go through this alone.
What can I do to help myself?
Grief can feel incredibly isolating, but there are things you can do to care for yourself:
- Remind yourself that grief is a natural response to loss — it is a necessary task of the human experience.
- Reflect on the loss wholly — allow yourself to remember both the positives and the painful parts.
- Create a ritual or memory practice to honour the person you lost.
- Accept your emotions as they come — whether it is sadness, anger, guilt, or even moments of peace.
- Stay connected with people who knew your loved one. Sharing stories and offering comfort to each other can be healing.
- You do not have to rush the process. Grief has its own rhythm.
- Seek professional support if you feel overwhelmed, isolated, or stuck.
How can I support someone who is grieving?
Being present and compassionate goes a long way. Here is how you can help:
- Listen without fixing. Let them talk, cry, or be silent — just be there.
- Avoid clichés. Phrases like “They’re in a better place” can feel dismissive. Instead, try: “I’m so sorry. I’m here for you.”
- Offer practical help. Small gestures like cooking a meal, helping with errands, or checking in regularly can ease daily burdens.
- Respect their process. Everyone grieves differently. Some may want to talk, others may need space.
- Remember long after the funeral. Grief does not end after a few weeks. Continue to check in during anniversaries, holidays, or quiet moments.
The most meaningful support is often a quiet, steady presence — someone who shows up and stays present without expecting anything in return.