Managing Emotions
Emotions are a response to something that feels important to our well-being. It happens automatically and is shaped by evolution as well as our past experiences.
What Are Emotions?
Emotions occur because our mind and body have determined a situation to be meaningful, and this influences how we think, feel, and behave to help us respond to the situation.
For example, a raised voice from a boss might evoke fear due to a history of an aggressive father, or a partner’s warm embrace could trigger fear stemming from past sexual abuse.
Why Do We Feel Emotions?
Emotions play a key role in helping us to survive.
Emotions prepare us to act quickly in important situations. For example, fear might trigger the urge to run away from danger.
Emotions give us useful information about what we need to care about in a situation. For example, if I feel hurt after a friend cancels plans with me at the last minute, that emotion might be telling me that connection and reliability are important to me in relationships.
Emotions also show others how we are feeling and what we might do next, even without using words. Our bodies naturally express emotions. We use our facial expression, posture, direction of gaze, frown, and tone of voice to express emotions, and others could pick up on those cues.
Why Is It Important To Understand Our Emotions?
Emotions give us important signals about our relationship with the environment, allow us to get in touch with our needs, and drive actions. They tell us if things are going our way and organise us to react adaptively.
This is different from evaluating if something is true or false. We are designed to move towards emotions that promote survival and away from those that do not.
Here are some examples of adaptive purposes of emotions:
- Fear signals that a threat is around; it motivates us to seek protection and safety, to move away from something dangerous.
- Sadness signals some form of loss; it motivates us to seek comfort
- Anger signals an invasion of boundaries or a violation of oneself; it motivates us to stand up for self or others
- Shame signals that we have fallen short of a given norm or standard, it motivates us to hide, correct or express awareness of wrongdoing
- Disgust signals that something is offensive, unpleasant, revolting or distasteful; it motivates us to avoid something bad for us
How Do We Regulate Our Emotions?
We cannot leave a place until we arrive at it. Similarly, we can only learn to regulate emotions that we allow ourselves to feel. We need to first arrive and be in contact with our emotions, allowing them to serve their adaptive purpose, before leaving them.
Consciously feeling the emotion in connection with the circumstances evoking it gives us control over our reactions. We become agents who have emotions rather than passive recipients of emotions.
Sometimes it is hard to arrive at exactly what we are feeling. Our relationship with emotions is shaped by our learning history. We learn which emotions are acceptable to express and which are not. Some of us may learn to suppress sadness or anger, hide fear or vulnerability.
Over time, these become automatic, and we might react to emotions in ways that do not serve us.
We can gain clarity about our emotions and respond more effectively by distinguishing the different emotion types, such as primary adaptive emotions, primary maladaptive emotions, secondary emotions, and instrumental emotions.
When To Seek Help?
We cannot leave a place until we arrive at it. Similarly, we can only learn to regulate emotions that we allow ourselves to feel. We need to first arrive and be in contact with our emotions, allowing them to serve their adaptive purpose, before leaving them.
Consciously feeling the emotion in connection with the circumstances evoking it gives us control over our reactions. We become agents who have emotions rather than passive recipients of emotions.
Sometimes it is hard to arrive at exactly what we are feeling. Our relationship with emotions is shaped by our learning history. We learn which emotions are acceptable to express and which are not. Some of us may learn to suppress sadness or anger, hide fear or vulnerability.
Over time, these become automatic, and we might react to emotions in ways that do not serve us.
We can gain clarity about our emotions and respond more effectively by distinguishing the different emotion types, such as primary adaptive emotions, primary maladaptive emotions, secondary emotions, and instrumental emotions.
How Can Us Help You?
Experienced Therapists
Our processes and quality assurance is led by Dr.Emma Waddington, a UK-trained senior clinician psychologist and Founder of Us Therapy, with over 20+ years of experience in helping individuals in Singapore.
Holistic & Personalised Approach
Our clinicians draw from various therapeutic models to create a holistic approach. At Us, we have seen hundreds of clients and we recognise that each individual is unique. Our approach is tailored to you but always includes customised treatment plans and integrative techniques.
Thorough Assessment
At Us, we pride ourselves on our comprehensive assessment processes. We will undergo a thorough assessment process with you in your first sessions before we come up with a plan for your therapy.
Our Therapists
What To Expect
The thought of a first therapy session can understandably feel daunting when you have social anxiety.
You can expect a safe and supportive environment where your therapist will primarily focus on getting to know you. They will likely ask about what brings you to therapy, your history with social anxiety, and your current challenges.
While it is okay to feel nervous, remember there is no pressure to share everything at once.
Your therapist will guide the conversation gently, and the first session is often about establishing a comfortable connection and outlining how therapy can help you move towards your goals.
Initial Consultation – A Space to Be Heard
The first session is all about getting to know you. It is a conversation—one where you can share what is been on your mind, what has been feeling difficult, and what you would like support with. Your therapist will ask questions about your background, experiences, and goals, but there is no pressure to answer any questions—just a safe space to begin.
Questionnaires & Onboarding Surveys – Understanding the Full Picture
To help tailor therapy to your needs, you may be asked to fill out some brief questionnaires before or after your first session. These can give insight into things like mood, stress levels, relationship patterns, or coping strategies. They are not tests—just tools to help your therapist understand how best to support you.
Individual Therapy Sessions – Your Journey at Your Own Pace
Each session is a step forward in your journey. Therapy is not just about talking—it is about discovering new ways to navigate life’s challenges, make sense of emotions, and feel like you are getting the most out of your life. Depending on your needs, sessions may focus on:
- Exploring patterns of thought and behavior
- Understanding past experiences and their impact on the present
- Developing practical coping tools
- Strengthening emotional resilience
Feedback Sessions – Reflecting and Adjusting
After the first few sessions (or after assessments), a feedback session provides space to reflect on how therapy is going. This is a chance to talk about what has been helpful, what you would like more of, and how therapy can continue to best serve you.
Intervention – The Heart of Therapy
Intervention is where meaningful change happens. Every therapy journey is unique, and the approach will be shaped around what works best for you. Some common approaches include:
🌱 Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) – Helping to identify and shift unhelpful thought patterns, reduce anxiety, and develop healthier ways to cope and new patterns of behaviour.
🧠 Schema Therapy – Deep, transformational work to uncover long-standing patterns that might be keeping you stuck, often rooted in early life experiences.
💙 Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) – Learning to handle difficult emotions with self-compassion and move towards what truly matters in life.
🌊 Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) – A powerful approach for healing trauma and distressing memories, helping the brain reprocess them in a way that feels less overwhelming.
🧘 Mindfulness-Based Approaches – Building self-awareness, grounding techniques, and ways to manage stress and emotions with greater ease.
Therapy Approaches
Social anxiety is a treatable condition and effective psychological interventions are available. These therapies focus on helping individuals understand and manage their fears, develop coping mechanisms, and gradually re-engage in social situations. Some common and evidence-based approaches include:
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT)
CBT helps individuals identify and challenge the negative thought patterns that fuel their anxiety. By examining and modifying these unhelpful thoughts, individuals can develop more realistic and balanced perspectives on social situations. CBT also incorporates behavioural techniques, such as gradual exposure to feared social situations, to help build confidence and reduce avoidance.
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)
ACT focuses on accepting anxious thoughts and feelings rather than struggling against them. It emphasises identifying personal values and committing to actions that align with those values, even in the presence of anxiety.
Fees
Individual Counselling Rates
Clinician type
Fees and Duration
Clinic Founder
$310
Principal Psychologist
$290
Senior Clinical Psychologist
$262
Educational Psychologist
$262
Clinical Psychologist
$236
Counsellor
$170
Expressive Arts Therapist
$170
Associate Psychologist
$130
Phone calls / Emails
Clinicians rate pro-rata (10 Mins)
FAQs About Managing Emotions
What are some ways to manage emotions?
We begin by allowing ourselves to feel the emotions. Once we are in touch with our emotions, we can begin to get curious about what those emotions are trying to tell us. Are they signalling a need for safety, connection, or boundaries? When we can name and understand our emotions, we are better able to respond with intention, rather than reacting automatically.
How do you manage emotions?
We may not always manage to attend to our emotions in the present moment. Sometimes they come up so quickly, or the situation is too demanding to pause and reflect. When you have the time and capacity, you can find a safe space to check in with yourself. Slow down and notice what you are experiencing emotionally and physically, as much as possible, without judgment. Then try to understand what the emotion is about. Is it tied to the present moment, or influenced by something from my past? The more you learn to get access to your emotions, the more you can respond in a way that honours your needs and values.
How can I stop my “emotional outbursts”?
Emotional outbursts, defined as sudden, intense displays of emotions that feel out of control and beyond the typical expression of feelings, often happens when emotions have been building up over time without being acknowledged or processed.
One way to reduce these experiences is to learn to notice our emotions earlier. When we can tune into how our bodies feel when we are angry, sad, or afraid, and name the emotions, it could help us address them before they escalate.
If we find ourselves reacting strongly and often, it may be helpful to explore our learning experiences with emotions. Therapy can offer a safe space to understand emotional patterns and develop more helpful ways of expressing our needs.
What are five skills for managing emotions?
Awareness: Becoming aware of the emotion and noticing its presence
Understanding: Understanding the emotion and trying to put the feelings into words or other meaningful forms
Congruence: Let our actions and words match what we truly feel inside.
Acceptance: Allow ourselves to experience even painful emotions instead of avoiding them.
Regulation and Agency: Keep a healthy distance from the emotion so it does not overwhelm us. This involves integrating our thoughts and feelings, and seeing ourselves as active participants in our emotional lives, rather than passive recipients.