“I know I’m safe now... The bad things happened so long ago… Then why does a slammed door, an angry tone of voice, or a fleeting memory still make my chest tighten, as if the past is happening all over again?”
I frequently hear this from teenagers and young adults working through the wake of painful experiences. Whether it’s bullying, abuse, loss, or instability, trauma does not always stay in the past. For many teens and young adults, the end of a difficult experience, whether abuse, loss, or a childhood marked by instability, does not halt its impact. It remains in the body, in the mind, shaping how we define ourselves and others.
So why does it feel like previous experiences keep replaying themselves, even when we’re desperate to change the channel? Why does trauma refuse to stay in the past?
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The Impact of Trauma on Brain and Emotional Development
Adolescence and early adulthood are the prime periods for brain development, particularly the areas involved in emotional regulation, memory, and decision-making. It is also the time when young people learn to manage their emotions, make decisions, and transform experiences into memories. Trauma during this critical stage can disrupt these processes in detrimental ways.
Under normal circumstances, the brain’s “alarm system”, known as the amygdala, is designed to protect us. It alerts us to danger and helps us react quickly.
However, trauma can cause this alarm to become overly sensitive, even when there is no real threat, like a smoke alarm that keeps blaring even when there’s no fire. It begins to react to non-threatening situations as if they were emergencies, leading a young individual to be more prone to intense fear and emotional reactivity.
Another part of the brain, the hippocampus, which helps us distinguish past experiences from present ones, is also compromised during trauma. This means that painful, traumatic memories are left uncatalogued and feel as if they are vividly occurring in the present, as if they are still a threat.
Finally, the prefrontal cortex, the area responsible for reasoning and impulse control, can be overwhelmed by traumatic stress, making it harder to regulate emotions.
These disruptions in brain development mean that even years after the traumatic events, one might feel unsafe, as if they are still in danger, because their brain has yet to fully process that the trauma is over.
Case Study: Faisa’s Story
After experiencing physical and emotional abuse by her parents as a child, Faisa often found herself on edge, even in safe situations.
Although the abuse stopped a year ago when she moved in with her aunty, a raised voice or sudden movement could still make her flinch, triggering flashbacks so that she felt as if the experiences of abuse were happening all over again.
Her body reacted automatically in those moments, her heart raced, her muscles tensed and she struggled to calm down, reminding her how deeply the trauma had left its mark.
To cope, Faisa avoided reminders of the past (she cut off contact with her parents and even destroyed photos of them), distanced herself from others for fear they would take advantage of her, and attempted to numb her feelings.
While these strategies provided temporary relief from the crippling anxiety she frequently experienced, they also left her vulnerable and exacerbated her trauma symptoms.
The Weight of the Past: Trauma & Self-Perception
Imagine being stuck in an endless loop of reliving the suffering of your past, where your body and mind are constantly in survival mode. This takes a heavy toll on one’s identity and self-worth.
When your internal danger system is perpetually switched on, you start to look for reasons you always feel so threatened. Eventually, in order to establish a sense of control, the mind starts to attribute the persistent perception of a threat to a personal flaw, and the individual internalises the trauma.
This does not just involve having bad memories of the original traumatic events; it includes absorbing the event into your very identity as a means of self-protection, creating beliefs like:
- ‘It was my fault.’ (I did it because I am not perfect.)
- ‘I am not safe because I am weak.’ (I can’t protect myself.)
- ‘I am unlovable.’ (Therefore, I was abused/they left me/hurt me.)
Without therapeutic support, these beliefs become entrenched and influence the way the young person perceives any new experience, relationship, or challenge.
The good news is that these beliefs are not set in stone. They are responses to a painful past and they can be reshaped.
How Can Therapy Help with Trauma?
Traumatic memories are often stored unconsciously, which means they can trigger intense emotions and reactions without warning. This lack of control makes it difficult to manage the resultant distress, thereby stifling progress in healing.
There are many ways that therapy can help with trauma. Therapy can help clients integrate traumatic events and understand them, enabling them to begin the healing process.
Some therapists use techniques to help clients reframe their thoughts and regulate difficult emotions, providing effective coping strategies to manage trauma-related symptoms and progress in healing. Trauma memories will remain, but they have less power over individuals and their emotions.
Other therapists specialise in modalities designed specifically for individuals with trauma or PTSD. Multiple evidence-based practices (EBPs) have been developed for trauma and PTSD and proven to be robust in working with targeted populations.
However, not all recommended therapies are EBPs; each intervention has its strengths and weaknesses, and trauma treatment must be individualised based on the specific needs of individuals.
Trauma-Focused Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (TF-CBT)
A structured therapy for children and teens that helps correct distorted beliefs (usually developed as a result of the traumatic experiences), build coping skills, and express emotions in healthy ways. It often includes caregiver involvement to support healing.
Trauma Systems Therapy (TST)
Designed for children and youth, TST addresses both emotional regulation and the impact of unsafe or destabilising environments. It focuses on how external systems (i.e. the child’s social environment) contribute to ongoing dysregulation.
EMDR Therapy (Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing)
Developed by Dr Francine Shapiro in 1987, EMDR is a non-verbal therapy that uses guided eye movements to help the brain reprocess traumatic memories. EMDR is posited to be especially effective for single-incident trauma, reducing distress linked to flashbacks and triggers.
Hypnotherapy
A relaxation-based approach that helps clients reduce the emotional intensity of traumatic memories by fostering a sense of control and empowerment. Hypnotherapy is particularly useful for those who have not responded well to other therapies.
Somatic Therapies
These emphasise one’s physical response to trauma. Through techniques like body awareness and grounding, clients learn to release stored tension and improve both emotional and physical well-being.
Narrative Therapy
Narrative therapy helps clients reframe their personal stories and challenge negative self-beliefs. By exploring meaning and identity, it supports a shift from feeling “broken” to seeing oneself as resilient and capable.
Reconciling the Past, Present & Future
Reliving the past is by no means a sign of weakness, but for a young person who has experienced the painful grip of trauma, its hold can reverberate for years. It can embed itself in the developing mind and body, impacting every aspect of life.
But as trauma expert Dr. Peter Levine reminds us, “Trauma is a fact of life. It does not, however, have to be a life sentence.”
With the compassionate, trauma-focused interventions, young people can begin to understand their reactions, challenge their negative beliefs and regulate their emotions, cultivating resilience and regaining their sense of self-worth.
Therapy can help loosen the grip of the past, making space for healing, growth, and a future shaped by possibility.
Written by Natasha, Principal Psychologist at Us Therapy