‘In couples therapy we want to learn how to listen and be open to different perspectives from our partner. We learn to let go of the need to win or lose, instead we prioritise our relationship wellbeing and seeking a deeper understanding of each other. A healthy and happy relationship does not result from the absence of conflict, but the presence of understanding, compassion and the ability to work through challenges as a team. The journey to a happy relationship is full of opportunities to reconnect and repair and learn more about each other as we grow in our lives and relationship’ – Emma Waddington, Senior Clinical Psychologist and Founder of Us Therapy
Marriages and relationships can face a number of challenges. Some of the challenges can appear early on in our relationship. Others take time to develop. The issues often stem from differences in how we wish to parent, how we manage finance or navigate our relationships with our extended family.
We can also experience betrayal or experience challenges when going life transitions. The reality is that experiencing difficulties and conflicts within our relationships are normal and are to be expected.
Even the happiest of marriages and relationships will go through periods, and seasons, where they feel less connected and are arguing more. We can feel defeated during these periods. And yet, these times can be the moments where you can experience the greatest connection. Conflict can lead to a deeper understanding of each other’s needs and values.
‘Married for 34 years, I’ve learned always to prioritise my relationship with my partner. The best way I can love my children is to love my wife. In my professional experience I’ve seen how supporting couples to prioritise their relationship can help transform their relationship and even their families and individual wellbeing’ – Timothy Chew, Marriage Counsellor at Us Therapy
The best things in life are worth working at and what can be more important than our relationships? Checking in with couples and providing a kind and empathetic environment for them to re-connect with one another is a privilege. – Kate Holt
Seeking professional support through a trained marriage counsellor can be immensely beneficial and can help transform challenges into moments of growth and strength. At Us we have witnessed this with numerous couples who have sought support from our experienced couples counsellors.
Here are our 10 top benefits of seeking marriage counselling
Improve Your Communication Skills With your Partner
One of the most important benefits of marriage counselling is teaching couples how to communicate more effectively.
The work helps couples speak more openly, and honestly, without engaging in hurtful and destructive comments.
Together we explore ways in which couples can express their thoughts, feelings and needs in a constructive way that can lead to deeper understanding and connection. Even the hardest of conversations can be navigated with great skill which all our marriage counsellors possess, and have dealt with the most difficult of cases to ensure long-lasting relationships and mutual understanding.
‘Most people do not want to separate divorce or have a miserable relationship. However they don’t know how to do better. Like everything, I see relationships as a process and we need to learn the right skills to improve our communication, problem solving, frow compassion, forgiveness, empathy and build commitment. My job is to teach the skills, coach the partners on how to apply these and meet them where they are at. No matter where we start the process, we learn about ourselves, and learn how to develop a well functioning and nurturing relationship. It warms my heart to get to be a part of the process.’ – Richard Logan, Marriage Counsellor at Us Therapy
Understanding How to Resolve Future Conflicts
Conflicts can be scary. Especially if they become destructive and hurtful words are exchanged. However, if managed and handled with skill, conflicts can be the cornerstone of a deeper more meaningful relationship. This is one of the many important factors and a great benefit of marriage counselling.
Conflicts are inevitable and are an opportunity to deepen perspectives, navigate differences in opinion with skill and find compromises that lead to connection and harmony. Learning to better navigate conflict is an essential skills to a long-lasting and happy marriage.
Naturally Learning to Increase Your Emotional Intimacy
Through the marriage counselling, couples find a safe space to speak honestly and openly about their emotions and experiences.
They can explore their fears and worries and express their deepest wants and needs. This is another great benefit of attending marriage counselling, there is no finger pointing, judgement, or blame, it is our experts in a room with you and your partner with a united goal – to make it work. During counselling, these disclosures can lead to deeper intimacy and strengthening of bonds and emotional connection. This results in greater trust, connection and satisfaction in the relationship.
Strategies for Rebuilding Trust with your Partner
Trust can be broken through a betrayal, be it by physical or emotional, or when there has been a breach of boundaries.
We can also experience emotional injuries, where our partner has hurt us with their words or let us down. Processing these injuries is essential to rebuilding trust. Over time the injuries get bigger and they lead to a deeper disconnect.
Through marriage therapy we can repair the hurt and work on rebuilding trust. Trust is paramount to the health and longevity of a relationship. The work of rebuilding trust includes open and honest conversations, expression of hurt and disappointment, anger and betrayal which results in accountability, responsibility and forgiveness.
Renewing Commitment
When there have been breaches in trust or when the relationship over time has dwindled in its romanticism and attention, couples may find themselves turning away and spending less time with each other.
Through marriage counselling work, couples can learn to rekindle their relationship, renew their commitment and learn about each other’s shared values, meaning and goals.
Support of Individual Growth
One of the greatest gifts of a strong and healthy relationship is the ability to nurture and support the development of the individuals in the relationship.
Through rebuilding trust and commitment towards each other, partners can develop greater personal introspection, self-reflection and self-awareness, by using the relationship as a haven.
Through this support for each other, couples can address their challenges and insecurities which may also be impacting the relationship. This will lead to a strengthening of the bond and a deepening of the emotional connection.
Supporting you as Parents
Couples who are also parents regularly feel unsupported. They argue about parenting methods, need more support and understanding from the other and regularly feel neglected and not prioritised.
These arguments can be painful and enduring. Learning to parent as a team, will build a deeper understanding of each other’s view and values around parenting which in turn will help resolve parenting differences, help navigate compromises and help develop strategies for fostering a united front in raising children. This in turn will lead to greater harmony and parental satisfaction which improves the children’s wellbeing and outcomes.
Overall Stress Reduction
Research has shown that relationship conflict can be a huge source of stress for an individual. Gottman reports that conflict can lead to a weakening of the immune system of the individual.
Through marital counselling, conflict is improved which results in improved coping, stress management and emotional connection. This helps individuals navigate stress more effectively and improves outcomes.
Prevention of Future Conflicts
Deepening our understanding of our partner’s emotions, wants and needs will lead to better communication and improvement in emotional connection and affection. This will help couples manage conflict and will protect the well-being of the relationship. Over time, the couple becomes more skilled and confident in their ability to manage future challenges which strengthens the stability and longevity of the relationship. Conflict is no longer something to be worried about. In fact it becomes a source of curiosity and a desire to deepen understanding.
Lasting Relationship Satisfaction
The aim of all marriage counselling is to improve marital or relationship satisfaction. Being in a close and connected relationship, helps us as individuals and leads to a more fulfilling and satisfying life. Through the couples work, couples can develop skills which can transform their relationship into a resilient, fulfilling and loving connection which can overcome even the greatest of challenges undertlied by mutual respect, love, and support.
We hope you understand the benefits of attending marriage counselling. Our trained and qualified marriage counselling specialists are always ready to help, and have already helped hundreds of couples take the next level in their relationships and live a happier, stress free married life. If you are considering marriage counselling, give us a call and we will be more than happy to help you on your journey.
